For all my geeky friends (and much of my family)… 

How to determine if you are an engineer:

• The only jokes you receive are through email (OUCH)
• At Christmas, it goes without saying that you will be the one to find the burnt-out bulb in the string of Christmas lights.
• Buying flowers for your girlfriend/boyfriend or spending the money to upgrade your RAM is a moral dilemma
• If you find that you have to often explain how to use the gifts you have given other people.
• Everyone else on the Alaskan Cruise is on deck peering at the scenery, and you are still on a personal tour of the engine room
• In college, you thought Spring Break was metal fatigue failure
• The Salespeople at Circuit City can't answer any of your questions
• You are always late to meetings
• You are at an air show and know how fast the skydivers are falling
• You are next in line on death row in a French Prison and you find that the guillotine is not working properly, so you offer to fix it.
• You bought your wife/husband a new CD ROM drive for her birthday
• You forget to get a haircut (for 6 months!)
• You can quote scenes from any Monty Python movie
• You can type 70 words per minute but can't read your own handwriting
• You can't write unless the paper has both horizontal and vertical lines
• You comment to your wife/husband that her straight hair is nice and parallel
• You go on the rides at Disneyland and sit backwards in the chairs to see how they do the special effects
• You have Dilbert comics/paphanelia displayed anywhere in your work area
• You have ever saved the power cord from a broken appliance
• You have more friends on the internet than in real life
• You have backed up your hard drive
• You have never bought any new underwear or socks for yourself since you got married.
• You have used coat hangers and duct tape for something other than hanging coats and taping ducts
• You know what http:// stands for
• You look forward to Christmas only to put together the kids' toys
• You own one or more white short-sleeve dress shirts
• You see a good design and still have to change it
• You spent more on your calculator than you did on your wedding ring
• You still own a slide rule and you know how to use it
• You think a pocket protector is a fashion accessory
• You think that when people around you yawn, it's because they didn't get enough sleep
• You wear black socks with white tennis shoes (or vice versa)
• You window shop at Radio Shack
• You're in the backseat of your car, she/he is looking wistfully at the moon, and you're trying to locate a geosynchronous satellite
• Your checkbook always balances
• Your laptop computer costs more than your car
• Your wife/husband hasn't the foggiest idea of what you do at work
• You've already calculated how much you make per second
• You've ever tried to repair a $5 radio
• Your four basic food groups are: 1. Caffeine 2. Fat 3. Sugar 4.Chocolate