Asides

Friends, save yourselves from addiction. Do NOT try eating Trader Joe’s lentil chips. EVER. Right @teeffanytam?

You know, we all could save a lot of time if we paired The Bachelor with The Bachelorette.

Wow, the Japanese have a word for “the act of buying books and not reading them, leaving them to pile up”: tsundoku i.imgur.com/kRgaXcQ.jpg

Who invented hugs? The first hug would have been so awkward. “What are you doing? Why are you holding me??” “Shhh, just trust me.”

You know how some things are really bad and awful but it’s still funny to make fun of them?

Am I allowed to go on Wheel of Fortune if I don’t have a wonderful husband, 3 kids, and 5 grandchildren?

I don’t have energy for kids any more. From now on, the only games I’m playing are “Cowboys and Invalids” and “Hide and Sleep.”

You know how people have email signatures? Someone should use “Sent from my trunk. Don’t just sit there. GET HELP!!!”

eBay is offering $10 off Purchases with coupon code CIM15

In a city with mandatory composting, why is it so hard to find compost bags? #whatsupwiththatSF

I awoke early to attack the day. It counter-attacked. We are now discussing our differences over coffee. #fb

I procrastinate so much I’ll probably put off death and never die. #fb

Weekend tech tip: DOUBLE your phone’s battery life by putting it down.

Don’t forget your free coffee at Starbucks this morning until noon.

Outside Lands 2013 lineup. Can’t wait to listen from my house again. Who’s going? lineup.sfoutsidelands.com @wonderdrum @elisatoy

Ego and super-ego walk into a bar. Bartender says “I’m gonna need to see some id.” #fb

If you can’t fix it with duct tape, you haven’t used enough. #fb

Whoa, I’ve been on Twitter for 5 years? RT @TwBirthday: @somegirlonline Happy 5th TwBirthday! You’ve been around since 18 March 2008!